i am mentally divergent

Dowager Empresses Of All Fatassia

  • 31st January
    2012
  • 31

I’ll Never Understand

footagenotfound:

I have a co-worker who recently returned from maternity leave, and she has already told me that “I’ll never understand until I have kids,” on 7 separate occasions. It is very aggressive. The most recent INUUIHK-bomb was dropped after she told me she was planning a family trip to Hawaii and she and the husband were going to take separate flights in case one of them crashes. I reminded her that the annual number of domestic fatalities related to air travel is approximately (exactly) zero and that our highway system is far more dangerous. In return she reminded me that I’m a childless moron who probably shouldn’t be allowed to use a microwave without adult supervision. OK fine, whatever. Since procreation grants you instant wisdom, here is a list of post-fertilization things I’m looking forward to understanding:

  • Portuguese
  • The internal combustion engine
  • Presbyterians
  • The 2001 Pontiac Aztek
  • Flo Rida
  • Also, Florida
  • Khaki pants
  • Quantum field theory
  • Arby’s
  • People who call into HSN to rave about the set of steak knives they purchased.
  • 13th January
    2012
  • 13
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Gloria Estefan - Get on Your Feet

footagenotfound:

jenjay:

itsinthetrees:

Gloria Estefan - “Get On Your Feet” (1989)

KNOPE 2012!

I spent a decent amount of my day trying to decide what my campaign song would be if I ever made the terrible decision of running for a political office. I ran through the entire catalog of Holland Oates (meh, from a campaign song standpoint), then I considered Eric Prydz, “Call On Me” which seems like it would be a great song for this type of thing, but maybe not? POLITICS! Whatever, I will never run for any sort of elected office, so this is adequate.

This is mine, which not only encompasses my campaign promise (Ass and Titties) but also my whole aesthetic (big booty bitches).