i am mentally divergent

footagenotfound:

I have a co-worker who recently returned from maternity leave, and she has already told me that “I’ll never understand until I have kids,” on 7 separate occasions. It is very aggressive. The most recent INUUIHK-bomb was dropped after she told me she was planning a family trip to Hawaii and she and the husband were going to take separate flights in case one of them crashes. I reminded her that the annual number of domestic fatalities related to air travel is approximately (exactly) zero and that our highway system is far more dangerous. In return she reminded me that I’m a childless moron who probably shouldn’t be allowed to use a microwave without adult supervision. OK fine, whatever. Since procreation grants you instant wisdom, here is a list of post-fertilization things I’m looking forward to understanding:

• Portuguese
• The internal combustion engine
• Presbyterians
• The 2001 Pontiac Aztek
• Flo Rida
• Also, Florida
• Khaki pants
• Quantum field theory
• Arby’s
• People who call into HSN to rave about the set of steak knives they purchased.

I normally don’t watch these types of shows because they induce the RAEG in me. But last night, I was flipping, and I got distracted so the tv stopped on TLC and one of these shows. Now TLC is the awesome network that has brought you such pronatalism shows as 19 and Counting, Jon and Kate Plus 8, A Conception Story, A Baby Story, etc etc. Shows that encourage women to use their vaginas like clown cars. Or to engage in risky fertility treatments so that they can have a baby with daddy’s nose, mommy’s eyes, and their staggering personal debt to cover the cost of IVF.

They also have such quality as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, which I won’t even start on and Freaky Foods (oh look! My fat mamma puts tartar sauce on everything, even cupcakes!) and My Secret Addiction (I eat toliet paper!). This is bottom of the barrel offensive programming at its finest. Way to take serious medical issues and mental disorders and turn them into exploitative television. Four for you, TLC /sarcasm. I don’t know why I was so surprised that Extreme Couponers managed to throw me into such a frothy rage after 15 minutes.

This woman said, and I don’t remember the exact quote but I am paraphrasing that if she could get 2K+ worth of groceries for $43, then there is no reason for anyone to go hungry. I wanted to reach through my screen and punch her in the mouth. First off, she and her family spent SIX hours in the grocery store. Plus DAYS gathering the coupons.

You know what most low income families don’t have, besides money, affordable healthcare, enough to eat, among other things? Time. Yeah, because they are too busy working. While some need two incomes, most are getting by on one. And I mean barely getting by if they get by at all. Have you read Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By by Barbara Ehrenreich? If not, do it.  Most people have barely enough hours in the day to survive let alone enough to spend hours sorting through coupons and often taking them out of people’s trash. Nor do they have the living space for these huge hoards of goods.

Not to mention the access to transportation it requires to get out of urban areas to grocery stores. No seriously, want to learn something quick about food politics? Look at the locations of a major grocery store in an urban area. See how all the locations lie outside the central part of the city, in the suburbs? Imagine having to take a bus an hour (or sometimes a lot more) both ways just to get groceries. Imagine you just worked a 16 hour day because you have to work two jobs to support yourself. That is at least two hours to get there, plus another hour to shop making it 19 hours. That leaves you five hours to sleep. But wait! You have to get ready for work so that takes an hour. And you have kids you have to feed and put to bed. Start doing the math. It starts to not add up. 

Which brings me to another point. This woman bough 540 yogurts. The kind with toppings on top. Now while you can freeze yogurts, that seems a bit excessive for a family to go through before it gets freeze-funk. Why not actually donate some of this excess food to a food bank instead of getting all high and mighty about how “anyone can do this”? Instead of thinking you’re such a bad ass for buying 400 boxes of cat food, how about you feel like a bad ass cause you donated those to a local no-kill shelter that is ALWAYS in need of food. I volunteer at one and trust me, the one thing we always need is cat food (and litter). 

I just cannot stand this idea of American exceptional-ism. That everyone can go out there and have the American dream if they just work hard enough. But that is a whole other rant for another day.